you're breaking my heart, man.

over the past few months, it seems i've been sending out quite a pointless message. for a second i thought i meant something more than another doll in your love store's showcase.
it took me a while to finally accept that i am something you don't wanna think of. i am something you don't want. i'm everything you don't want. so now i see why it felt so much like a fairytale. but this is reality and these tears are justified tonight.
i like to think about you, though. you're so good at it and gave it to me just the way i like it. the smell of your skin. the amazing feeling like i could spend the rest of my days resting on your chest listening to your breathing. i wish you knew how nice you look when you sleep.

sunrise was never brighter.

can i meet you later? take you to the riverside, have a few party times, it will feel so right, honey. we'll walk into woods.
you can throw all your emotions out on my devotion while i write a list of all the things you did that made me smile.


i can't write.
it's always about him,
and he is not here anymore.
[was he ever?]